I am who I am
not, the memory of ancestors
nor a reflection of
nor an admirer
of my oppressor, I am
in wildernesses which I
once belonged to
once the most gentle,
quite soon, encountered harm,
their gentleness, so early on, was aroused to fight,
raging, they learned, keeps one alive,
and so the gentle rage,
to one day,
discover their gentleness, indeed,
Many of my white brothers and sisters, at least on social media, have claimed to be willing to learn. For once, I am seeing white people break the silence and speak out. Some confess; others lament; some rage with anger; but for the first time in at least my lifetime, I am seeing white people break the colorblind paradigm by speaking out against racial injustice and other forms of racism. Many of you are saying you’re willing (and needing) to learn; I express both gratitude and a silent hallelujah. I offer you four initial starting points, or questions, to wrestle with to help you progress down the long path ahead of you.
1. What did it take?
George Floyd wasn’t the first black man to die from police brutality. This also wasn’t the first Black Lives Matter protest as a response to racial injustice. What did it for you? This is important and you need to be able to articulate it. Was it the back-to-back incidents of publicized Black death that’s contributing to your awakening? Was it #IrunwithAhmaud #JusticeforBreonna #JusticeforGeorge, was it Amy Cooper, in New York, threatening the life of a black man with her white privilege? I’m asking you to be able to name whatever it is that’s moving you out of silence because we (people of color) will need you to stand with us the next time racial injustice happens. We need you to remember what moved you to come out of the shadows of silence, choosing to courageously use your white and influential voice; you’ll need to anchor into it. You'll need to do it again.
2. Where were you?
Be careful not to move from color blindness to only seeing in black and white. True justice reaches beyond the black/white binary and impacts the lives of all those oppressed and marginalized. I’m a first generation American, but my family is from Mexico. I have black hair, brown eyes, and brown skin. I’m a person of color, but I’m not black, I’m a brown Mexican born in America, I have indigenous American blood in me. After you understand what it took to get you to speak up, you need to wrestle with another question (and you need to develop another anchoring response). Where were you? Where were you when we (people of color) were being harassed by white America in the past? Where were you when Latina/os were detained in cages, while children die in ICE detention centers? Where were you when a white-supremacist shot up a Walmart in El Paso Tx. targeting and killing over twenty Mexicans? Where were you when my Asian brothers and sisters were crying out about being physically, verbally, and emotionally abused due to Covid-19 realities? Where are you when Indigenous Americans advocate for reparations and an honest indigenous history; why still observe Columbus Day and not mourn the beginning of an era of genocide? What keeps you silent? Again, you need to be aware of what can and will potentially keep you silent tomorrow (be it enjoying a privileged lifestyle, fear, ignorance, prejudice, etc.). Once you can articulate these two individual answers, you need to start becoming aware of the collective and racialized American landscape, and of how people of color see (and respond) to race realities and racism. I get it, you want to know what you can do (I’ve been asked this many times before and especially right now), but before you do anything you need to understand who else is in this society with you, and how we (a broad set of people of color) are navigating these tumultuous racialized waters. You will benefit from learning how and why (to many people of color) white people are perceived as the gate-keepers of the ideal society.
3. Do you understand how people of color see race and whiteness?
For you, George Floyd and Black Lives Matter may be the start of your journey towards disentangling racism in society; but you need to understand that for decades, if not centuries, people of color have been ‘dealing with racism.' It’s important to know how different people of color see race. Previous generations pass on how to deal with issues of racism (especially because many occupy a different societal space--not white, but we are also not black). For many people of color, the best way to deal with racism is to do whatever we can to be you: to be white. Centuries of systemic racism and cultural racism have shaped the thinking of people of color, convincing them to alter their lifestyle and image to attain friendship with you; to be accepted by you and your circles, maybe even marry into your family (because for a long time, society has placed you at the top of the food chain, and it still appears that way--just look at how white people get to be “American” and everyone else has to be a hyphenated-American). For so many, myself included, the goal was to be as “white-passing” as possible. So I, like many others, believed the lie that if I traded in my Mexican flag for the American (or white) flag that I would become ‘one of the whites.’
4. How white do I need to be to be your friend?
Racism in America is compelling people to strip away who they are to become ‘American’ (which many people of color understand means becoming as white as possible). We crucify our language, our dress style, our values and priorities, our music, our way of life to attain 'salvation' in the American dream of the whites; we learn to love what you love and hate what you hate for the sake of acceptance. This is why so many people of color are also racist towards darker-skinned communities and why you have “white-washed” metaphors in many hyphenated-American communities. Every person of color in America has to choose which society to be a part of--the white community, the native ethnic community, or try to straddle both. What I’m trying to help you see is that many people of color attribute success with whiteness (here, referring to your culture, your way of living, and your image), and so, we too distance and step on those darker than us; we watch you reject others, and so we too reject those we’ve been told are ’not one of us,’ those further from being white-passing. Since we believe there’s limited room in white circles, we fight each other to get in the room of privilege. However, eventually people of color run into situations that remind us we are noticed and not considered one of you. This is where you, my white friends, can change the story. You can practice accepting (even embracing) what’s different, or you can respond like this racist lady who mistakes Puerto Ricans for Mexicans, and criticizes their language, music, and culture. Your work begins in a society where the oppressed oppress each other for the sake of getting ahead (of getting to where you started off by being born with white skin and into white culture). Here’s my point, ultimately you decide how white the rest of us need to be to get accepted into your society: your friend groups, your neighborhoods, your positions of leadership and influence, your churches, your businesses, your schools. Look at those spaces now. If you do not see people of color within close proximity, why is that? Where are they? Wake up to your position in society (and how you’re viewed by people of color) and stop perpetuating the ancient narratives that compel so many to assimilate to whiteness.
As you begin to journey alongside the rest of us, you have an opportunity to change the narrative. We, people of color, are used to hearing, "You can survive, even thrive, among us, if you become like us; you can keep your life, if you give up your identity...we will refrain from vomiting you out if you let us swallow you up" (Volf, p. 75). To my white family (especially evangelical Christian family), continue to learn and practice being different so tomorrow you can do what it requires of you. Don't let this be just a trend that will end, let it be the beginning (or continuation) of transformation.
Volf, Miroslav. 1996. Exclusion & Embrace: A Theological Exploration of Identity, Otherness, and Reconciliation. 1st Edition edition. Nashville: Abingdon Press.
Could there be wisdom in thinking about how we may look back on this moment in history?
I wonder, what will we say twenty years from now? Looking back at this moment in history, when America and Mexico were in conflict over immigration? What will those who identify as "Mexican-American" think fifty years from now? Will that label for identifying certain individuals still be in use?
There's a song I sing that endorses a theology I believe in - it claims every human being is a "child of God" - and yet, If I'm honest, at least based on what I see, read, and hear (from many professing Jesus-followers), it seems being a child of God is second to being a child of "legal Americans." Because throughout two decades of ministry in various American Christian churches, these are the messages I received:
If we are legal, we are worthy of acceptance and hospitality.
If we are illegal, we are worthy of rejection and deportation.
If we are legal, others protect us from those who wish to commit hate-crimes.
If we are illegal, others must be protected from us - and so we experience racial and ethnic stereotyping, family separation, being detained in cages - all for the "safety of society."
If we are legal, many churches will allow us a seat at God's table of communion.
If we are illegal, we must first request a seat in America, only then are we qualified to request a seat at God's table.
If we are legal, others see our native Spanish language, dark hair, and dark skin as "ethnic" or "diverse."
If we are illegal, others see us as a threat to the ways of a "Native" North-American lifestyle.
If we are legal, Jesus-followers say God offers forgiveness and relationship through the gift of Jesus as risen Lord - accessible to all.
If we are illegal, Jesus-followers say access to God is available only by way of legal American relationship - this community is exclusive.
"We never said any of that," you may say, but actions (and in-action) speak louder than words. If we removed the label of "Mexican-Americans" or "Mexicans," how would our posture and attitude change? Would we change?
If "illegal Mexicans" became individuals from Mexico - children of God, born in Mexico, and if we actually believed this, what would we (as individuals and church communities) do differently? My theory is some would refuse to change anything - because their theology is infused and confused with nationalism and racism.
Do they know the Jesus who approached and welcomed those who were societally unwelcome - the Jesus who crossed exclusive boundaries? Do they know the Father who longs to bless the world through Abraham's offspring - who longs to be in relationship with the whole world? Do they know the Holy Spirit who challenged Peter to include non-Jewish people into God's family - making it possible for Gentiles to enter God's church - which includes Mexicans and Americans?
I wonder if we have forgotten who we are - Are we Israel? Are we Gentiles? Are we grateful that Jesus grants us access to this God? To follow Jesus is to accept the offer to be granted inclusion into God's family - a title we don't deserve, nor earn, but gladly receive and live from.
May we have eyes that see children of God, ears that hear their stories, and hearts that are open to new conversations.
I was asked to write a corporate prayer - a "litany" - for a chapel service at Fuller Seminary - the day after the mid-term elections of 2018. The heart and thought behind this corporate prayer is to offer words that a community can use as a form of corporate confession - specifically confessing prejudice, and how it affects us all - both as victims and contributors. If you choose to read through it, I encourage you to consider praying it - and if you do pray through it, I pray God brings healing, restoration, and more open eyes & hearts within your context.
Feel free to use this call & response prayer in your community - the idea is that someone leads, and the community responds by saying out loud what is in bold. My only request is that you cite me as the author and include a link to this website. If you are posting on social media, please do not share without linking to the original post here. Thank you.
A Communal Prayer of Confession
Oh God, bring us awareness of what is too often unseen, unheard, and unfelt.
Break down the walls of our hearts, of our eyes, of our minds.
Prejudice is running rampant - its hands are wounding, its mouth is poisoning, its presence is dismembering Your body.
Lord, give us eyes to see, ears to hear.
We confess our yielding to prejudice - our hands, our words, and our attention are stained with the residue of prejudice.
Jesus, set us free from this bondage.
Lord, we acknowledge our tendency to choose comfort over sacrifice,
to choose ourselves and our own, over the other and the stranger,
to limit Your love to those who agree with us, look like us, and live like us.
Spirit, teach us how to love as Christ loves His church.
We pray now for the Church across the globe and across town, for the body of Christ that is fragile & fragmented due to the whispers of prejudice, that it - that we - may awaken to the deception,
For the war continues to rage on,
But our fight is not against flesh and blood.
Spirit, expose and silence the voices of prejudice.
Lord, we stand as wounded people, realizing we too have wounded people.
Spirit, search our hearts.
We stand as women - who've been unseen and silenced by men.
We stand as men - who've been condemned and judged for the sins of our brothers.
Lord, here we stand.
We stand as foreigners - who've known hostility & criticism over hospitality & kindness.
Lord, here we stand.
We stand as the rejected and ignored - who never found the affection and attention of our sisters and brothers.
Lord, here we stand.
We stand as the misunderstood, who were never given enough time to tell our story.
Lord, here we stand.
For all the ways our hands inflict pain & offer neglect
For the words we use to bring division & harm
Forgive us, Oh God.
For choosing to sacrifice each other, using each other for individual gain
For refusing to acknowledge the hurting & the weeping for lack of empathy
Forgive us, Oh God.
For choosing to stay angry in order to justify our thoughts and actions
For withholding kindness from each other when we see each other's differences
Forgive us, Oh God.
For when we see each other's need and do nothing
For using You, God, and those in Your church, to serve our own agendas & interests
Forgive us, Oh God.
Great Redeemer, come redeem your church!
Great Restorer, mend the divides in Your body!
Spirit, fall afresh and bring life to dry bones!
Almighty God, expose and disinfect the rot of prejudice!
May we in Christ, find hope to move forward.
Come Lord Jesus.
May we in Christ, be a body that moves towards healing and restoration.
Come Lord Jesus.
Lord Jesus, in Your name, in Your power, search us, expose what is hurting so that we might be made whole in You.
I'm a 🇲🇽-🇺🇸, Latino PhD Student at fullerseminary;